From Taking a Life to Saving Lives

Xavier McElrath-Bey grew up surrounded by gangs. Even though he was still a young elementary school child he knew what places and streets to avoid and he knew to stay away from gang territory. 

His family life was tough. He and his siblings often went hungry and they were placed in foster care at 6 years old. His foster care life wasn't any better than his original family, as he was beaten and abused. 

After a few years they returned to their mother, unfortunately her boyfriend would beat her and the children. This was when Xavier joined his surrogate family, his gang, the Latin Kings.

“It’s not like you wake up and say, ‘I want to become a gang member because my mom or my dad is abusing me. There is a certain level of insecurity and feeling unsafe. You want to connect with a group.”

“You want to empower yourself, not to mention you want to have someone that you feel connected with when you come from a home environment where there’s a lot of neglect and abuse.”

Xavier began becoming involved in crimes - armed robberies, weapons violations, aggravated batteries and assaults. By the time he was only 13 years of age, he had been arrested a shocking 19 times and gone to juvenile facilities seven times!

The incident happened in October 1989 when Xavier was just 13 years old. He and the Latin Kings lured a rival gang member into a vacant building and fatally beat and stabbed him. The victim was only 14 years old.

Xavier was arrested two weeks later and received a sentence of 25 years.

“When you’re a kid, you really just live for the moment; you know you’re caught up in a daily struggle for survival in that prison system: What’s going to happen in the yard? Is there going to be a riot?” McElrath-Bey said.

After being moved to a maximum-security prison for adults at only 17, Xavier began to change his thinking for the better. 

He often watched TV shows liked "Saved By the Bell" and wondered what his life would be like if he never made the mistakes he had made. 

From there, his life changed. He decided to get enrolled in school and be as he would have been in free society had he never been arrested. 

Xavier thought about simple freedoms like being able to walk to your own refrigerator or stepping outside to smell the grass. “That becomes like a fantasy world because in prison your concept of a free society is like that of heaven,” he said.

He worked toward his goals while still in prison, earning a bachelor’s degree in social science (with a 4.0 GPA) in 1999 at a prison in Galesburg, Ill., where the Chicago-based Roosevelt University offered courses.

In his mind’s eye, the former gang member said, he continually returned to that October night in 1989 — and has often thought about the victim and the dead boy’s mother.

“I think about the fact that he was no different from me. He was a kid who grew up with a troubled life in a poor family,” McElrath-Bey said. “That could have very well easily been me. That could have been my mother mourning, so I just think about his loss and what that really meant and how tragic it really was because it was based upon this false illusion of us and them.”

For McElrath-Bey, freedom came at last in 2002 after he served 13 years in prison.

He wasted no time making up for the lost years of his youth.

As a newly released 26-year-old, he took a job at Starbucks and soon enrolled part-time at Roosevelt, where he earned a Master of Arts degree in human services in 2006.

McElrath-Bey stayed close to the justice system in a decade-long series of jobs — but on the right side of the law this time.

He served from 2003 to 2006 as a “ceasefire outreach worker” for the Chicago-based Alliance of Local Service Organizations, helping at-risk youth through case management, home visits and referrals; providing crisis intervention and assistance to gunshot victims at a hospital; and helping organize annual peace walks.

McElrath-Bey went on to work for Catholic Charities of the Chicago Archdiocese, specializing in gang intervention and providing services to at-risk youth and families living in bad neighbourhoods, like where he grew up.

He then worked for the Chicago-based non-profit Alternatives Inc. with youths referred by the juvenile justice system.

At the Northwestern Juvenile Project, part of Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, where he spent more than five years, McElrath-Bey conducted interviews with more than 800 participants in a longitudinal study of the mental health needs of formerly incarcerated youth.

This month, McElrath-Bey, 38, began working in his new role as a youth justice advocate at the Campaign for the Fair Sentencing of Youth.

In the Chicago-based job, he will advocate for reforming the juvenile justice system, particularly by eliminating extreme sentencing of youngsters, and try to dispel stereotypes.

“What I intend to do,” McElrath-Bey said, “is share about my life and change the face of formerly incarcerated youth — have people understand that these are not a bunch of monsters.

“They’re not a bunch of incorrigible super-predators but in fact these kids have great potential for positive change, and not only am I an example of that, but I know so many other individuals who have made such tremendous change and are great models to look at and say, ‘You know what, there is hope.’ So much is giving them an opportunity and chance. There truly is hope for these guys to reform their lives.”

Do your part in making a change, contact NICRO today or browse through to website to view the wide range of different services and programmes!

7 Warning Signs That Can Help You Spot a Criminal

If you work as a security officer, police officer, or even if you don't have a career in crime prevention, it is best to always know the warning signs to spot a criminal.

These signs are especially important when you are walking alone at night, when you're drawing money from an ATM or even when you see someone knocking on your door.

Do you know of a loved one, friend or family member who you think is involved in criminal activity? You can do your part - contact NICRO today and get help immediately!

Here are seven warning signs that someone might be up to no good:

1. You’re being followed. Humans almost have this sixth sense that lets them know when someone is following them. If you feel that someone is watching you or following you, find a well-lit area, open business or a crowd of people.

2. A male under 30. Don't just assume because you see a male under 30 that he is a criminal. However, the highest percentage of violent crimes are committed by males under 30 years. The older a man is, the less likely he is to be a criminal!

3. Loitering. Someone dodgy who is hanging outside a building or in the street, who has no reason for being there should be seen as suspicious. Luckily most cities have laws against loitering.

4. Loose, baggy clothes. There’s a reason loose clothes, especially shirts that hang over the beltline, became “gangsta” fashion statements. Loose-fitting shirts and pants make it easy to conceal guns, knives and other weapons.

5. Secretive behaviour. Someone who is glancing around nervously as if concerned about being spotted may have a reason for doing so. Someone who is preparing to commit a criminal act is likely to be nervous, jumpy and even paranoid.

6. Concealing headgear. Hats, beanies and hoodies that hide a person’s face can be a sign of criminal intent.

7. Sunglasses at night. Of course if it is daytime sunglasses would be perfectly fine, but at night? It is not just a bad fashion statement, it is also a legitimate cause for concern.

None of these signs — alone or in combination — is a 100-percent accurate predictor of criminal intent. Far from it. We all have to be careful not to fall victim to stereotypes. However, these signs raise the odds that criminal activity is at hand. Anyone who has worked in public/private security or law enforcement enough time tends to develop a “sixth sense” for spotting criminal personalities.

These nine signs are simply the most common and obvious indicators that someone may not have your best interests in mind, and that you should be on alert and ready to respond appropriately in the event of an attack.

Innocent man in prison was treated like the scum of the earth

A 22 year old steel worker who was falsely accused of rape, decided it was better for his safety if he fabricated a story and told other inmates that he was in prison for a shooting. But, one day, his name and charge details were revealed.

"In prison, if you are in for anything relating to a sex offence you are the lowest of the low," he explained. "My lawyers and even the prison staff told me that I would be in serious danger if other prisoners found out what I was charged with. So I concocted this story about being a career criminal who was in over a shooting. People seemed to believe it, but when my name was in the paper they realised why I was really there. I didn't leave my cell again."

In March 2009, James and a friend were accused of rape. Apparently they had burst into her home, threatened her with a knife and then raped her. The truth was, James knew the woman beforehand and she has invited them over after a night out.

James and his friend had never spent any time in jail. Luckily for his friend, he got bail and could leave after 10 days, but James was on remand for a full year. He had to spend most of the time in one of Britain's toughest prisons.

After a long hard battle, they were both acquitted in March this year. But even though he was cleared, James still says the feeling of being accused of rape still haunts him. He has not only lost a year of this life for something he did not do, but he is also not sure if he still has a job.

"Being accused of something I did not do was a nightmare," he said. "But when people in prison found out what the allegation was my life became unbearable. They would put razor blades under the door and urinate into my cell. They threatened me and my family.

"I was in a cell for 23 hours and 45 minutes a day for my own safety. The only time I was allowed out was for 15 minutes at night time when all of the other prisoners were asleep.

"Eventually I had to be transferred to Barlinnie for my own safety. I told the other prisoners the shooting story, which worked for a while, but then one of the guys from Addiewell was transferred too and it started again. I was put on suicide watch and I refused to eat. When I went out on the wing, people would point and say, 'there's the monster'.

"Next they moved me to the sex offenders' wing. I was the only remand prisoner there, and it was hell. There were rapists and pedophiles and I did not want to associate with these guys but I was being treated like one of them."

Even after his horrible experience, James has decided to support the suggestion that rape suspects should be given the same anonymity as victims. The proposal has been opposed by women's rights groups, who say that such a move would prevent genuine rape victims coming forward.

James said: "I understand that rape victims should have anonymity, but I do not see any reason why suspects should have their names in the public domain if they have not been found guilty of a crime.

"I fully agree that rapists should be named and shamed. They are the scum of the earth and their names and photographs should be in every newspaper. But in my opinion that should only happen when they are convicted.

"I had my name dragged through the dirt because of a false allegation. I was labelled a rape suspect and it nearly ruined my life.

"My name was cleared in a court of law but even now I hear the phrase 'no smoke without fire' and I feel that some people still look at me and say things behind my back.
 
"I agree with what women's groups say 99.9 per cent of the time. I think what they do for victims of rape is great because it is a terrible crime, but on the point of anonymity I have to disagree.

"When I was in Barlinnie I met three people who were on remand for rape: two were acquitted and the other had his conviction overturned on appeal. So false allegations do happen.

"People have to realise that cases like mine do occur. But because I was not entitled to anonymity my name was plastered across the newspapers with the word rape next to it. I will forever be linked with a rape accusation, even though I have been acquitted."

Have you been charged with a criminal offence? Let NICRO help you out during this tough time, we can offer a wide range of services to you. All you have to do is contact NICRO today!

What causes a child to be violent at school?

School violence is a terrible issue for schools these days. Children are getting violent and disturbing other children who are coming to schools, as well as the teachers and staff. Children are bringing weapons like knives and guns to school and are harming students, teachers and other people. But what is the reason behind such things?

• Atmosphere at home - if the children are living in an unpleasant environment then they tend to turn to violence. If they see that their parents are fighting and beating each other then they will learn to do the same.

• Weapons - In this day and age, weapons are easier to get a hold of than you think. They may buy these weapons through such means and use them in school.

• Bullying - A child can be bullied to such a point where they have to turn to violence as the only means to stop it. This is where help from a loved one or a non-profit organisation, such as NICRO, can help a lot.

• Media effect - TV and games show a variety of violent acts. A child may watch these things and decide to practice them in real life.

• Group effect - Children tend to become violent if they are the part of the group in which all members are violent. If their friends are violent and showing violence in school then they will learn the same thing and they will also express violence in school.

• Lack of counseling - If a child is not given proper counseling and proper love and affection then the chances of becoming violent are more.

• No guidance in difficulties - If no guidance has been provided by either a family member or a teacher at school, the difficulties they are dealing with may then lead them to become violent. They are unable to solve problems on their own and this can lead to unnecessary violence. 

There are people who can help, like NICRO, who offer a variety of different programmes and services to those in need. Do your part, contact NICRO, it is the matter of child’s future and you should choose the best for children.

Are you willing to report a family member?

It takes a lot of guts and pure bravery to report someone abusive to the police, but it takes even more to report an abusive family member! We know for a fact that most of the abusers are members of the family, and studies show that barely any instances are reported to the police. So, why aren't more people coming forward and reporting abuse?

It could be that people don't want to "tell on", "rat out" or get their family members into trouble, even though abuse is taking place. There is a lot of shame in a member of your family abusing you, there is also a lot of fear of what they will do.

Most people would rather keep quite and suffer in silence than report abuse to the law. Even if a family member is reported, later on in the situation the victims may even refuse to speak up or testify against them. This means that charges may not stick, the abuser will probably be released and begin abusing the victim again.

It is as much a problem of our emotions and fears as it is of the wrongdoing itself. We somehow justify the actions, we look the other way or we fear what the justice system will do to our abusive relative.  We must stop giving thieves a pass.

Why are we remaining silent so often?

Whether or not the criminal justice system can prove the crime is not your problem.  It is your problem to know about the abuse and to do nothing.  One day it could be you who is victimized.

At NICRO we urge you to do your part to report abuse and to do something about it! If you or a loved one is ever in need, do not hesitate to contact NICRO right away!

The most common form of abuse

The most common form of abuse is emotional abuse. However, it is the type of abuse that we talk about the least. Why do people choose to overlook it? Well, a lot of emotional abuse is considered to be normal in this day and age.

Emotional abuse is not like sexual or physical abuse. It is made up of a lot of incidents and things that happen over a period of time. It is so much more than what you may think - emotional abuse is more than just verbal insults!

Emotional abuse may be abuse in the form of: rejection, threats, criticisms, aggression, ignoring, isolation, teasing and so much more. It can also take place in a number of places, from the comfort of your own home to the workplace and even in a happy relationship.

-- THE EFFECTS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Emotional abuse is not only under-reported, but it’s effects are minimized. The famous childhood verse, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is simply not true. In fact, many physical and sexual abuse survivors have said that the emotional abuse was often more devastating and had longer-term effects.

Emotional abuse cuts to the core of a person, attacking their very being. Emotional abuse, if frequent enough, is usually internalized by the victim, and leaves them feeling fearful, insignificant, unworthy, untrusting, emotionally needy, undeserving and unlovable, and as if they were bad, deserving of punishment, and to blame.

Survivors of emotional abuse often have a hard time understanding why they feel so bad. The abuse may not sound like much, and often people around them will minimize the experience, telling them it’s not so bad. But a climate of disregard for a person’s feelings, where one is subjected to constant or frequent criticisms, being yelled at, or being ignored – has a deep and profound effect, attacking the very self-image and confidence of a person.

-- IDENTIFYING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

How do you recognize emotional abuse? One thing that can help is to step back from your situation and examine the overall climate in your home or your workplace. Trust your instincts and feelings about people. Sometimes, a person can just look at you and you know that they are looking down at you. Other times, their words are okay but their tone is mean. Emotional abuse is insidious and can be very subtle, so trust your gut; it’s telling you something.

-- NAMING IT

Because it is harder to name emotional abuse as abuse, it can be harder to heal from as well. The first step is to name your experience as abuse. Trust how you feel. Many people can identify the abuse once they know what to look for because they change from being outgoing, self-confident, and care-free to feeling nervous, anxious, and fearful in the company of an emotionally abusive person. Just because you’re feeling those feelings doesn’t mean that you’re being emotionally abused; there could be something else going on. But, those feelings combined with abusive behavior is convincing evidence that you are being abused.

Try describing to other people how this person behaves. Be honest, and listen to the feedback you receive. If you don’t feel good about the feedback, try someone else. Remember that emotional abuse is frequently minimized.

No matter what you’ve been told or how you’ve been treated, you are worthy of love and respect. The more you know this, the less likely you will be to accept disrespectful or abusive behavior towards yourself or others. You should not have to take emotional abuse from anyone – no matter what the excuse. You deserve to be treated well.

NICRO is committed to turning lives around - We encourage all South Africans not to stand back, but become involved either by donating a monthly amount, a once-off donation or look at the NICRO wish list for support in kind for around the country and see how you can assist.